Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Good morning everyone!

Sorry about the late start today. Tuesdays are hectic for me, so this was the best that I could do.

Today, I'm getting personal.

I want to talk about scars. Three scars in particular.

I have scars all over from various surgeries and animal bites. I even have a scar on my right knee from a seal bite! How many of you can say you have a seal bite scar? Yeah, that's what I thought! ;)

Scars NEVER bothered me in the past, If anything, I thought they were cool. They were badges of honor that I proudly wore. There were great stories that came along with those scars, and I had no difficulty showing them off to everyone! :)

Then came the first scar. This is a scar on my upper left arm, near a tattoo. I hate this ugly thing.
(Not my arm or the scar I'm discussing, folks. Just something from good old Google Images)
It reminds me of a very bad medical "procedure" which ended up hurting me, not helping me. It's small. It's not sensitive. Most people don't even know it's there. Every time I see it, though. I despise its presence on my body. It's not cool. It's not interesting. It's bad and ugly (I think I find it to be especially ugly because of the bad connection). It's there, and it's not going away. I just have to accept it.

Then there are the next two. These two actually haven't even happened yet. I have to have surgery on my feet - one at a time and a few weeks apart. I have my first one this afternoon. It's necessary, don't get me wrong. But, I'm going to end up looking like a circus freak. No one will know but me. And mind you, I am not a vain person, but I am preemptively ashamed of my feet! I already don't want people to look at them. Seeing the outcome in my mind's eye has me disgusted at my own appearance. For some reason, these two surgeries really bother me from an aesthetic perspective.

I don't know what to do or how to get over these scars. All three are really minor, and yet, they consume many of my thoughts!

When I decided I was going to blog about this today, I was thinking about how none of my characters are disabled, mutilated, etc. Then I remembered that Lareina has terrible scars from her ordeal with Tony.

That got me thinking. I am going to write a scene where Lareina looks at her scars and deals with the negative emotional ties to them. She and Marc will have a deep, lengthy discussion about her scars. Perhaps in writing about her scars, I can find my own peace.

So even when you think you have nothing literary to discuss, you realize that your own personal life ties in deeply with your writing. I write not just for entertainment, but also for closure on personal issues.

Thanks for bearing with me today, guys. Happy reading as always! :)

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